The work week is over...
If wishes were horses... I would have a lot of horses... and then what if I wished for a horse? Would I get two? one for the wish and another for the transformation of said wish?
Perplexing. Miguel has taken up his own blog and curiously I see a different side of him. His blog is:www.lunameztli.blogspot.com if you read Spanish or you want to make the attempt, he's really quite funny.
It seems that the weeks get longer and longer and I get less and less done. I sent off my work (which I had to polish several times late into the night last night). M. overslept, that is, he fell asleep and didn't put on an alarm and we were woken by the ringing phone at 1:20, he was already twenty minutes late for work downtown and ... well it really wasn't my fault... but then I was awake and couldn't get back to sleep. Sleeping alone in such a large bed is actually quite disquieting... it's like the Joni Mitchell song "My old man" - where she has this great line that dips into a minor key... "But when he's gone, me and them lonesome blues collide... The bed's too big the frying pan's too wide." Funny how comforting the presence of another is no matter what all else is going on. I think that I am perhaps afraid of being alone. Why should I be alone? One would ask...
I'm not quite sure. I don't necessarily want to be, but part of me feels like I am failing to be a good partner and so maybe it would just be better, and I could discover who I really am. It isn't that I feel lost, per se, it's just that I am finding pieces of me that I had forgotten, and they are causing noise in my daily life.
Now... Final project for one class is already taken care of, and I have a project outlined for other class: I am going to do a comparative study of the identity formation of the adolescent male character in Josefina Vicens' novel "Los años falsos" with the adolescent female character in Poniatowska's "Flor de lis". It might not get done by the end of the quarter but that's ok with the professor. Meanwhile she gave me a good idea which is to use the undergraduate thesis as a source for snaggling various and sundry articles in Spanish but to focus my energies on bringing Vicens to light in an English language book because there are none currently extant.
So it's just the egregiously arduous paper on Darío that is haunting me. I can't even start, though I have a hand written intro that should get me going. I just need a complete and uninterrupted day, but tomorrow, my day of catch-up work will be dedicated to Isabella's five-year check-up. I can't believe it, I know her birthday has already passed (the party is this Sunday... more stress) but in some ways the annual physical is a more concrete marker for me. I still remember the first visit after the hospital to see if her blackened umbilical cord had fallen off appropriately and if she had gained back her weight (they lose a pound or two from birth as they assimilate breast milk and begin their steady upward growth). I remember the evil nurse that bloodied her fingers, as she wailed inconsolably, squeezing droplets into a pipet to gauge her blood-iron level. The mama bear instinct is greatest when they are newborns and I wanted to womp the nurse a good one, that's for sure.
Right now she is drawing amazing pictures in her diary. She has drawn an elaborate "tree dressed up as a human and two monsters" under which she has written "Noib, Mom, Dad, Isabella"...
TIme flies and at the same time it moves everlastingly slowly, dripping like honey on a single strand of hair in the sunlight. How is it that these two seemingly opposed notions of time can happily coexist in reality? Despite feeling exhausted by the week I am feeling rather content (first time ever?) with my life. I feel like I have wonderful friends in my life and I thank everyone of you (whether you read this or not, I am sending the good energy your way) that has thought of and written to me of late... You are many and I love you all. I am suddenly not plagued with fear of the unknown future stretching out before me, and am just happily taking life one day at time while keeping my eyes fixed on the prize.
Ok. Time to go watch a movie (ok, I know I should be grading my student's essays but I am going to spend time with my family instead, so there).
Perplexing. Miguel has taken up his own blog and curiously I see a different side of him. His blog is:www.lunameztli.blogspot.com if you read Spanish or you want to make the attempt, he's really quite funny.
It seems that the weeks get longer and longer and I get less and less done. I sent off my work (which I had to polish several times late into the night last night). M. overslept, that is, he fell asleep and didn't put on an alarm and we were woken by the ringing phone at 1:20, he was already twenty minutes late for work downtown and ... well it really wasn't my fault... but then I was awake and couldn't get back to sleep. Sleeping alone in such a large bed is actually quite disquieting... it's like the Joni Mitchell song "My old man" - where she has this great line that dips into a minor key... "But when he's gone, me and them lonesome blues collide... The bed's too big the frying pan's too wide." Funny how comforting the presence of another is no matter what all else is going on. I think that I am perhaps afraid of being alone. Why should I be alone? One would ask...
I'm not quite sure. I don't necessarily want to be, but part of me feels like I am failing to be a good partner and so maybe it would just be better, and I could discover who I really am. It isn't that I feel lost, per se, it's just that I am finding pieces of me that I had forgotten, and they are causing noise in my daily life.
Now... Final project for one class is already taken care of, and I have a project outlined for other class: I am going to do a comparative study of the identity formation of the adolescent male character in Josefina Vicens' novel "Los años falsos" with the adolescent female character in Poniatowska's "Flor de lis". It might not get done by the end of the quarter but that's ok with the professor. Meanwhile she gave me a good idea which is to use the undergraduate thesis as a source for snaggling various and sundry articles in Spanish but to focus my energies on bringing Vicens to light in an English language book because there are none currently extant.
So it's just the egregiously arduous paper on Darío that is haunting me. I can't even start, though I have a hand written intro that should get me going. I just need a complete and uninterrupted day, but tomorrow, my day of catch-up work will be dedicated to Isabella's five-year check-up. I can't believe it, I know her birthday has already passed (the party is this Sunday... more stress) but in some ways the annual physical is a more concrete marker for me. I still remember the first visit after the hospital to see if her blackened umbilical cord had fallen off appropriately and if she had gained back her weight (they lose a pound or two from birth as they assimilate breast milk and begin their steady upward growth). I remember the evil nurse that bloodied her fingers, as she wailed inconsolably, squeezing droplets into a pipet to gauge her blood-iron level. The mama bear instinct is greatest when they are newborns and I wanted to womp the nurse a good one, that's for sure.
Right now she is drawing amazing pictures in her diary. She has drawn an elaborate "tree dressed up as a human and two monsters" under which she has written "Noib, Mom, Dad, Isabella"...
TIme flies and at the same time it moves everlastingly slowly, dripping like honey on a single strand of hair in the sunlight. How is it that these two seemingly opposed notions of time can happily coexist in reality? Despite feeling exhausted by the week I am feeling rather content (first time ever?) with my life. I feel like I have wonderful friends in my life and I thank everyone of you (whether you read this or not, I am sending the good energy your way) that has thought of and written to me of late... You are many and I love you all. I am suddenly not plagued with fear of the unknown future stretching out before me, and am just happily taking life one day at time while keeping my eyes fixed on the prize.
Ok. Time to go watch a movie (ok, I know I should be grading my student's essays but I am going to spend time with my family instead, so there).
posted by ilana at 8:54 p.m.
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