Insomnia is taking its toll

Last night I was awoken by a mistaken phone call at 1:30 and then couldn't get back to sleep. It is funny how the ringing phone can make your heart beat faster as if in some distant place in your psyche you are always waiting for some important piece of news. Because I spend most of my nights alone these days I comforted myself with the glowing blue light of my computer screen, pouring over work that needed to be done and writing that didn't need to be, as if I was waiting for another sign.

This morning it was raining and I was up at 6, finishing some work that I couldn't focus upon in the wee hours. M. came home early to drive us to school instead of loading the girl into a soaking wet bike trailer. Also, the low grade hill up to the sidewalk is killer because she gets heavier each day and my energy level is low.

I wanted to make significant headway into my project this afternoon but I felt like I was going to faint or have an aneurism (which would have put a damper on my current way of life) instead I came home and slept it off. Then I had an inordinate craving for Italian food, but seeing as how we have been spending far too much money on eating out (plus I have yet to find a worthy Italian restaurant downtown), I made food instead... It has been over a week since I actually cooked a meal, I seem to have less and less energy for the kitchen and it is usually something I love to do:(

I made pasta (how many nights of my childhood were fed this way?) cooking it with olive oil and salt and M.'s secret a split clove of garlic. Gambas al ajillo (aka shrimp scampi) and a salsa fresca using four roughly chopped tomatoes, fresh basil, several cloves of garlic, a chopped onion and several mini zuchini in rounds simmered down to a melodious melange. Topped, of course, with grated romano...

At least I will be satisfied on one front tonight. The rest, later if possible.