Saturday afternoon hues of blue...

I saw a beautiful photo of where I would love to have been this afternoon, hiking up a mountainside, instead of fiddling madly with a ridiculous computer, trying to fashion myself a web-page, requirement of the department, attempting to make something not completely useless and boring and at the same time not outing myself yet as the free-thinking radical that I really am... ha ha. some radical I turned out to be.

Isabella has curled herself up in a thumb-sucking ball (some traits did actually get passed down - the thumb sucking and the breast fetish, the most salient). We were supposed to go to a concert this evening, but I suddenly felt very tired and sad and uninspired, and over-loaded with work, so I begged off. Also, what is the point in spending time together just because you said you would when both people are just, predictably, pissing one another off. So, here I am, about to begin some thrilling reading on teaching methodology - the most amusing part being that no one ever proposes real, practical, applicable solutions, they just wax poetic about sundry ideals and "best-practices", as useful, I propose, as the drivel that I have been writing. I am wanting to begin writing, for real, but I know that it is ill-advised as my actual work is already suffering.

I think I must have ADD - all these starting and stoping actions have me wasting a tremendous amount of time, but hey... nothing else remotely piquant has rolled across my front door these days. I wonder if the blues are just due to lack of good sleep, or my brain chemicals sloshing back into their previous and marvelous imbalance. I am not complaining, in fact I like to feel blue, and never again will I let myself be tricked into taking medication to solve a problem that is not fixable by medication, it kills your libido, too.

So today's thought is about the concept of an "outlaw". There is something exciting and reckless in being an outlaw, but, in terms of karma, I think that there is something basically wrong with breaking a "law" that directly and forcefully impacts negatively on another person or sentient being. Ok, so you would argue that who can _really_ say how we can determine the degree of impact... I have no answers, just questions and areas for further research, which means I am perfectly suited for academia after all. But here is what I am really thinking about: I would concede that taking somebody else's property, or physically impinging on another person's body-sphere are not OK, but... when the being is larger than even a corporation (can it be? is there an entity larger than Microsoft or Disney? probably not- just bear with me) say the corporation that we call the US government, is the one whose "property" or physical space is being illegally tampered with, does it really have a significant impact? Should we be defending an unprincipled principle?

Now, any good Republican would take this line of argument and brutally rape me with it by claiming that small incursions into the eco-systems of third world countries don't really hurt _anyone_, or at least not us, and in fact the positive economic growth (for us) outweighs the negative impact (on them) anyway. So, there is no need to point out the obvious, my argument is rather weak... but I reiterate, isn't it different when the "person" suffering is the Patrón? as opposed to the eternally disenfranchised.

I just found out that "Z" got his deportation notice from the Canadian government (apparently not _everyone_ can play the persecuted gay card and have it work in their favor) and is planning a trip across the border. My first response was "what the fuck does he want to do here?" but the next was "that's fabulous, I will have to hook him up with places to stay on his journey". I am appalled at the thought that such a "crime" is punishable by our government to a greater degree even than crimes where huge corporate bigwigs rob millions from the workers that they exploited to make the millions in the first place. I would like to see a suit shackled and paraded down through the dank halls of Sing Sing, cat calls, and bars rattled and forced submission from his eternally sculpted, manicured, paid-for (by others) body.

Would I like to be an outlaw? Hell yes! But then, maybe I am already for writing these things in a public place and not using a pseudonym. That's kind of a sexy thought, hmmm, maybe I will mail an attachment to my senator (or my gubernator...).

Ok, enough of this wicked fantasizing, I really must go do the reading I set out to do, and then maybe tomorrow I _will_ actually be able to justify the hike that I am itching to take...