Jobs anyone?
I just received word from Javier that he wants to set up a youth exchange program with an Irish associate, to send over-privileged Spanish children to the U.S. While the prospect of a large chunk of change finding its way into the negative space that I have created for all things monetary, I will have to decline. One summer of hell was enough for me...
It made me think, about all the jobs that I have done... Now my curriculum vitae is decidedly short (and rather embarassing) so I thought I would post it... logically, right? My dear friend Jenny has a fabulously, totally true, secret c.v. of inappropriate jobs. I wish I could be as creative as she, but alas, I am bound by my (frighteningly rigid) personal parameters...
In a rough sketch of my life, I am trying to include all professional things (meaning: jobs for pay... sort of)
1) First entrepreneurial enterprise. Age 6. Blocking doorway of main hallway in Temple Law school, charging toll for students to pass (I hate to say it, but I think that this was my idea and _not_ Ari's. Once. We actually made quite a sum until my mother, an administrator in the international arm of the school came out of class and duly admonished us. We got to keep the money, though.
2) First "real" job. Age 12... Baby-sitter. Lasted for many, many years. I got to deal with all kinds of things, like how to casually ignore my charge's masturbation while my boyfriend and I were hanging out.
3) First (and last) job in an office. Age 16, and getting a whopping $6 an hour (a lot, actually for the going rate). File coordination of busy personal injury law firm. Amusing and really bizarre, ran across cases with not one, but two, boyfriend's families, the current one, whose mother, a doctor, was being undone by that exact malpractice suit. (I felt really bad about it and _never_ told said boyfriend where I worked!)
4) Summer au pair (sp?). Age 18. Nice job, free use of family jeep during week, gas included, partied all night, dragged myself out of bed to go to their house, slept until boys got up. Took boys out with discretionary cash... Made lots of money...
4a) This doesn't really count, but a really funny episode where Robbie, Meghan and I got paid to sing at a trade show selling... Oh yes, Apple Pies, from Gordon, the apple pie fascist. I guess our choice of revolutionary protest songs was not the best of repertoires, but we had fun anyhow.
5) Cafe worker and over-all lackey. Age 18. Bryn Mawr's owl cafe, where, it would happen, a certain Colombian man liked to hang out. This job only lasted one semester. I hated smelling my hair permeated with fry grease and old-dish-rag essence. And my co-worker smoked way too much during the week, all around bad influence.
6) Nude model. Age 18-19. This was much more fun, and the power dynamic was so strange. Better pay than food service, but not that good. Still, a little weird because on my way to Biology class I would always run into one of the professors who took the night class for which I modelled. Had to stop.
7) Summer program coordinator. Age 19. Got to spend a lot of time with "at risk" (hate that term) bilingual children. Amazing how generous we are as children. I wonder what happens as we grow, these kids would eat only half their lunches, so they could take the rest home for the little brothers or sisters not in the program. Really got to know the state of NH and visit many State Parks, museums etc. Totally worth it (but only for a summer) the following year I volunteered, and the releasing of the pressure made it much better, plus it helped that I was in "love" (read: offering much more of myself than he could have possibly been worth) with the man who was running it.
8) Brief stint as a clerk for whole-foods grocery store. Age 19. Evil. Snooty, stuck-up people on the Main Line should not be allowed to eat good food. Period. I lasted about 3 weeks until the woman demanding that I magically materialize the wheatgrass or whatever she wanted that was not in stock pushed me over the edge. Awful pay, no benefits.
8b) I forgot! Age 19. Lanscaping and gardening assistant. An attempt to work outdoors with the world's most god-awful dolt of a man from, no it wasn't Prince Edward Island... oh, Nova Scotia. Yes well, there is something to be said for endogenous (is that the right word?) populations... A bit like a late Hapsburg the poor fellow...
9) Tutor. Age 21. nothing exciting, bad pay through the university, but once I started on my own, I made a ballsy move and now charge $60 an hour or up... (though I hear the pay for sex workers is even better, and perhaps less skill intensive?)
10) Translator/ Interpreter. Age 22 sporadic awful work. Lawyers are truly evil, even if my mother was one. Medical translation was more fun, I got to tap into my latent love of science.
11) Teacher of High School Spanish. Age 22 (please strap a bomb to me if I ever contemplate this again. I won't, I know). There are fabulous people in the profession, but I, alas, am not one of them, my tendency towards fatalism and political strife don't go well with bureaucracy, especially not in the Libertarian, conservative New England towns from whence I come (ok, there I go appropriating again... I _actually_ come from the repressive Republican hot bed of Nether Providence, in a lovely suburb of Philadelphia... but yanked myself out in the mid-stages of my formation, causing all kinds of gender confusion - wait that doesn't really have anything to do with this...more later)
12) Exchange program coordinator. Age 23. Lots of money, even more stress. Awful, awful, awful. Asking (begging really) people to host students for free and finding activities for cheap, while company owners skimmed as much creamy profit off the top of the over-priced tuition as possible.
13) Next (and one of few) paying jobs as a singer. Age 23. Who ever said participating in a creative project with a spouse was a way to bring you closer together was insane, especially when you need to come up with over two hours of music! Add two philosophically opposed people to a group of three and watch the third run screaming... But we still play together once in a while, having a few programs at museums and universities and such. Not so much these days, though we will be playing this weekend in downtown, if we practice, that is...
14) College language instructor. Most recent endeavor. Very enjoyable, not at all time-consuming. That's why I have to create dilemmas in my life, like... should I do my work, or should I write incessantly to no one... Well, I guess it is clear what choice I have made.
So that's it. Pretty pathetic. My life reduced to a very short and very boring list of jobs. Although, I will be looking for more work this summer, so maybe I can get creative. Never done telemarketing... hear it is awful. Maybe the masochist in me (the one who HATES bothering people on the phone) will look for a self-anhilating job... Just so I can feel sorry for myself. But, then summer is so far away, I may be dead by then, having been pitched ferociously from my squeaky bike. (I really must take it to be greased or something... especially after Chet's accident today - don't want to be at the mercy of strangers or passing professors)
Happy thoughts for this rainy Tuesday.
It made me think, about all the jobs that I have done... Now my curriculum vitae is decidedly short (and rather embarassing) so I thought I would post it... logically, right? My dear friend Jenny has a fabulously, totally true, secret c.v. of inappropriate jobs. I wish I could be as creative as she, but alas, I am bound by my (frighteningly rigid) personal parameters...
In a rough sketch of my life, I am trying to include all professional things (meaning: jobs for pay... sort of)
1) First entrepreneurial enterprise. Age 6. Blocking doorway of main hallway in Temple Law school, charging toll for students to pass (I hate to say it, but I think that this was my idea and _not_ Ari's. Once. We actually made quite a sum until my mother, an administrator in the international arm of the school came out of class and duly admonished us. We got to keep the money, though.
2) First "real" job. Age 12... Baby-sitter. Lasted for many, many years. I got to deal with all kinds of things, like how to casually ignore my charge's masturbation while my boyfriend and I were hanging out.
3) First (and last) job in an office. Age 16, and getting a whopping $6 an hour (a lot, actually for the going rate). File coordination of busy personal injury law firm. Amusing and really bizarre, ran across cases with not one, but two, boyfriend's families, the current one, whose mother, a doctor, was being undone by that exact malpractice suit. (I felt really bad about it and _never_ told said boyfriend where I worked!)
4) Summer au pair (sp?). Age 18. Nice job, free use of family jeep during week, gas included, partied all night, dragged myself out of bed to go to their house, slept until boys got up. Took boys out with discretionary cash... Made lots of money...
4a) This doesn't really count, but a really funny episode where Robbie, Meghan and I got paid to sing at a trade show selling... Oh yes, Apple Pies, from Gordon, the apple pie fascist. I guess our choice of revolutionary protest songs was not the best of repertoires, but we had fun anyhow.
5) Cafe worker and over-all lackey. Age 18. Bryn Mawr's owl cafe, where, it would happen, a certain Colombian man liked to hang out. This job only lasted one semester. I hated smelling my hair permeated with fry grease and old-dish-rag essence. And my co-worker smoked way too much during the week, all around bad influence.
6) Nude model. Age 18-19. This was much more fun, and the power dynamic was so strange. Better pay than food service, but not that good. Still, a little weird because on my way to Biology class I would always run into one of the professors who took the night class for which I modelled. Had to stop.
7) Summer program coordinator. Age 19. Got to spend a lot of time with "at risk" (hate that term) bilingual children. Amazing how generous we are as children. I wonder what happens as we grow, these kids would eat only half their lunches, so they could take the rest home for the little brothers or sisters not in the program. Really got to know the state of NH and visit many State Parks, museums etc. Totally worth it (but only for a summer) the following year I volunteered, and the releasing of the pressure made it much better, plus it helped that I was in "love" (read: offering much more of myself than he could have possibly been worth) with the man who was running it.
8) Brief stint as a clerk for whole-foods grocery store. Age 19. Evil. Snooty, stuck-up people on the Main Line should not be allowed to eat good food. Period. I lasted about 3 weeks until the woman demanding that I magically materialize the wheatgrass or whatever she wanted that was not in stock pushed me over the edge. Awful pay, no benefits.
8b) I forgot! Age 19. Lanscaping and gardening assistant. An attempt to work outdoors with the world's most god-awful dolt of a man from, no it wasn't Prince Edward Island... oh, Nova Scotia. Yes well, there is something to be said for endogenous (is that the right word?) populations... A bit like a late Hapsburg the poor fellow...
9) Tutor. Age 21. nothing exciting, bad pay through the university, but once I started on my own, I made a ballsy move and now charge $60 an hour or up... (though I hear the pay for sex workers is even better, and perhaps less skill intensive?)
10) Translator/ Interpreter. Age 22 sporadic awful work. Lawyers are truly evil, even if my mother was one. Medical translation was more fun, I got to tap into my latent love of science.
11) Teacher of High School Spanish. Age 22 (please strap a bomb to me if I ever contemplate this again. I won't, I know). There are fabulous people in the profession, but I, alas, am not one of them, my tendency towards fatalism and political strife don't go well with bureaucracy, especially not in the Libertarian, conservative New England towns from whence I come (ok, there I go appropriating again... I _actually_ come from the repressive Republican hot bed of Nether Providence, in a lovely suburb of Philadelphia... but yanked myself out in the mid-stages of my formation, causing all kinds of gender confusion - wait that doesn't really have anything to do with this...more later)
12) Exchange program coordinator. Age 23. Lots of money, even more stress. Awful, awful, awful. Asking (begging really) people to host students for free and finding activities for cheap, while company owners skimmed as much creamy profit off the top of the over-priced tuition as possible.
13) Next (and one of few) paying jobs as a singer. Age 23. Who ever said participating in a creative project with a spouse was a way to bring you closer together was insane, especially when you need to come up with over two hours of music! Add two philosophically opposed people to a group of three and watch the third run screaming... But we still play together once in a while, having a few programs at museums and universities and such. Not so much these days, though we will be playing this weekend in downtown, if we practice, that is...
14) College language instructor. Most recent endeavor. Very enjoyable, not at all time-consuming. That's why I have to create dilemmas in my life, like... should I do my work, or should I write incessantly to no one... Well, I guess it is clear what choice I have made.
So that's it. Pretty pathetic. My life reduced to a very short and very boring list of jobs. Although, I will be looking for more work this summer, so maybe I can get creative. Never done telemarketing... hear it is awful. Maybe the masochist in me (the one who HATES bothering people on the phone) will look for a self-anhilating job... Just so I can feel sorry for myself. But, then summer is so far away, I may be dead by then, having been pitched ferociously from my squeaky bike. (I really must take it to be greased or something... especially after Chet's accident today - don't want to be at the mercy of strangers or passing professors)
Happy thoughts for this rainy Tuesday.
posted by ilana at 8:16 p.m.
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