six feet under (and 6 feet over)
Nothing of the macabre nature, though both I. and I have an obsession (not sure whose is more tenacious, probably hers only because her curiosity outweighs her capacity to take on extraneous pain from others).
The water was delicious and her undivided attention and shower of kisses even moreso. We went to the deep pool again today, to perfect her diving. Since last time she has honed the art of diving in a straight line from the side of the pool, and I convinced her to do so from the 1 meter board. No belly flops like last time.
"Do a dive, just like we practiced, hug your ears with your arms, point your fingers where you want to go into the water. Bend your knees and push off, just like from the side."
"Oh," (bounce, bounce, bounce) "but I wanna jump!" she jumps.
""C'mon baby... I wanted you to dive."
"Oh yeah, I have to listen to my teacher, and Mommy's my teacher..."
"Right, now use your big arms to swim to the wall." (we still have issues with free-style, she prefers the underwater mode of travel, what we like to call "dolphin dives").
Most of the day is spent, of course going "deep, deep, deep." I am amazed at her willingness to push herself farther and farther beneath the blue. She can easily swim 6 feet straight under and then comes bobbing back up to the top.
After two hours in 17 foot water I am ready to go, but she has it in her mind that she wants to jump from the 2 meter board. I encourage her, while waiting at a safe distance in the water to meet her. She climbs each step slowly, she walks to the end of the board. "Oh... is it scary mommy?"
"No baby, it's not scary." I lie.
"Did you do this when you were a little girl? Was it scary?"
"Yes, sweetie, just walk off the end of the board, I'm right here waiting for you."
"Oh... I wish you could be up here with me. It looks so high." She hesitates at the top, looking down, she vacilates some more.
"You don't have to do it, you can come back down." Her relief is visible, "Walk to the end, and then turn around to climb down the stairs backwards, " I coach.
She runs and jumps from the side. "That was scary." But five minutes later, she say, "I think I'll try again." Repeat of prior scene, with extra whimpering from the edge of the precipice.
"If you don't want to jump, you can just come down."
"Ok."
She runs to the edge, but stops. "No," she convinces herself, "I said I was gonna do it, and I am." She turns around climbs the ladder once more, walks the plank and jumps without too much contemplation.
"Great job!"
"I did it."
Before leaving she tried again, got cold feet, turned around, and finally convinced me to climb the board next to her so we could be up there together. I climb slowly, I hate looking down as I climb. Fuck. This is sort of scary. What was I thinking? I walk to the end of the board.
"You go first so I can watch you."
"K, Mommy." She steps into space, cutting the water with a perfect splish, her body straight as an arrow, as practiced.
I dive, without too much bounce, having no desire to slam my back against the unyielding surface of the water. Ow! My head breaks a hole in the water and my breasts jump from their temporary home with the impact. I surreptitiously slide them back into my suit, under water, massaging quickly the burning nipples (almost like the sensation of prickly heat as milk begins to flow).
I am so proud of her, this brave little girl. I am astonished at her capacity to trust me (a bit frightened because I don't know if I am so meritorious of such trust). I wish I were so willing to take the plunge into the turbid waters of the unknown.
The water was delicious and her undivided attention and shower of kisses even moreso. We went to the deep pool again today, to perfect her diving. Since last time she has honed the art of diving in a straight line from the side of the pool, and I convinced her to do so from the 1 meter board. No belly flops like last time.
"Do a dive, just like we practiced, hug your ears with your arms, point your fingers where you want to go into the water. Bend your knees and push off, just like from the side."
"Oh," (bounce, bounce, bounce) "but I wanna jump!" she jumps.
""C'mon baby... I wanted you to dive."
"Oh yeah, I have to listen to my teacher, and Mommy's my teacher..."
"Right, now use your big arms to swim to the wall." (we still have issues with free-style, she prefers the underwater mode of travel, what we like to call "dolphin dives").
Most of the day is spent, of course going "deep, deep, deep." I am amazed at her willingness to push herself farther and farther beneath the blue. She can easily swim 6 feet straight under and then comes bobbing back up to the top.
After two hours in 17 foot water I am ready to go, but she has it in her mind that she wants to jump from the 2 meter board. I encourage her, while waiting at a safe distance in the water to meet her. She climbs each step slowly, she walks to the end of the board. "Oh... is it scary mommy?"
"No baby, it's not scary." I lie.
"Did you do this when you were a little girl? Was it scary?"
"Yes, sweetie, just walk off the end of the board, I'm right here waiting for you."
"Oh... I wish you could be up here with me. It looks so high." She hesitates at the top, looking down, she vacilates some more.
"You don't have to do it, you can come back down." Her relief is visible, "Walk to the end, and then turn around to climb down the stairs backwards, " I coach.
She runs and jumps from the side. "That was scary." But five minutes later, she say, "I think I'll try again." Repeat of prior scene, with extra whimpering from the edge of the precipice.
"If you don't want to jump, you can just come down."
"Ok."
She runs to the edge, but stops. "No," she convinces herself, "I said I was gonna do it, and I am." She turns around climbs the ladder once more, walks the plank and jumps without too much contemplation.
"Great job!"
"I did it."
Before leaving she tried again, got cold feet, turned around, and finally convinced me to climb the board next to her so we could be up there together. I climb slowly, I hate looking down as I climb. Fuck. This is sort of scary. What was I thinking? I walk to the end of the board.
"You go first so I can watch you."
"K, Mommy." She steps into space, cutting the water with a perfect splish, her body straight as an arrow, as practiced.
I dive, without too much bounce, having no desire to slam my back against the unyielding surface of the water. Ow! My head breaks a hole in the water and my breasts jump from their temporary home with the impact. I surreptitiously slide them back into my suit, under water, massaging quickly the burning nipples (almost like the sensation of prickly heat as milk begins to flow).
I am so proud of her, this brave little girl. I am astonished at her capacity to trust me (a bit frightened because I don't know if I am so meritorious of such trust). I wish I were so willing to take the plunge into the turbid waters of the unknown.
posted by ilana at 3:20 a.m.
5 Comments:
No es tan rudo ahora que es pequeña y te hace arrojarte a una piscina, en especial si tienes en cuenta que como adolescente va a exigirte un grado más dificultad: cuando te obligue a acompañarla al bongie jumping.
por un momento me confundí, y creí que me sugerías que me obligaría que la acompañara a lo bonques... que también puede ser, ¿verdad?
Bonques llenos de absintio (ajenjo). mmmm! Invítenme si esto ocurre; yo llevaré una foto de Hemingway para que nos mire con envidia.
che, pero qué cosa es un bonque? (léase con acento rioplatense)
Increíble lo protegido que te hace sentir el cariño de una mamá. Yo ni loca me tiro del trampolín!
Yuré... nunca he tenido el gusto, tendré que posponer hasta poder leer a Valery en original;)
Sole,
(In my best east-coast Italian mafioso voice) "I could tell ya, but then I'd have to kill ya." // creo que peco de amarla demasiado, no la vaya a traumar de una mamá sofocante...
Publicar un comentario
<< Home