Anaïs c'est moi?

Watched a fabulous film last night, by Phillip Kaufman (who also adapted Kunderra's "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" in which I adored Juliette Binoche) based on Anaïs Nin's supressed diaries and her epistolary with Henry Miller... "Henry and June" (1990)... M. picked this one at the last minute because the store didn't have "María Full of Grace", and what a surprise... Of course he started to watch it the night before and that is what sparked his attack of paranoia. Am I really like her? Perhaps maybe just a little;) Dancing, watching the world around me, wishing, wanting (the deviant in me)... Maria de Madeiros (Anaïs) was incredible and the interplay between her and Uma Thurman (June), the raw tension and electricity, was magnificently captured on celuloid. A young Kevin Spacey, was a delicious surprise as he played a minor character, the friend who introduced Miller to Nin, but whose behavior foreshadowed the action of the whole film. I think I was just talking about this the other day. I am not into pornography because of its decided lack of eroticism, but this... this was exactly the opposite, the sensuality was heightened by the lack of graphic sex, but the lush fabrics, the movement, the images of the "viewer" and the "viewed", the interchange of glances made the film extremely exciting and powerfully moving. To write... to write... What I wouldn't give for the freedom to experience... (yes, tempting the thought of a secret diary safe from prying eyes) and yet, safety and comfort seem to have a stronger pull. And of course these are ultimately different times.

To travel outside of oneself for only a few hours, immersed in a story, perhaps that is all we can really aspire to after all.