wish-list 2014
Ok, I'm taking a moment, a brief one, to do what I had promised not to do, which was revert to a self-indulgent pseudo-public diary. Why? you might ask... well... just because. You know. Chomsky.
Or something like that.
There is little wisdom to be sprinkled about these days. Not a little, as in, I have a few tidbits, rather, a dearth. There is not a lot sparkly going on right now in Ilana-world. Ah yes, deep into the self-indulgence we gooooooooooo.
Here's the deal. I had high hopes for 2013. Sure, I did some fun stuff. Mostly involving travel, bringing artists to Phoenix, meeting new friends, getting involved in some serious activism in the great state of Arizona, which is where, incidentally, I have been residing since late summer 2012, but since I skipped this indulgence last year... well, only the real world and some Facebookers knew about it. Anyway, despite making several wonderful new, sustaining friends, I've also made and subsequently lost a few (for reasons that will not be discussed in this forum) that have left a deep, wounded, blood-drenched hole in my heart... and I'm still wobbling, so... rather than a recap, or a list of resolutions, I'm going to put a personal wish-list out into the universe for the coming year.
In the coming year
1) I want to be able to speak with honesty (when it is important), and not fear the repercussions.
2) I want to don sparkles on a more regular basis. Especially glitter make-up.
3) I want to write something creative (and not self-indulgent) on the daily.
4) I want to keep my heart open, despite my overwhelming instinct to slam those doors shut.
5) I want to move to a part of the city that is more in line with who I am.
6) I want to let myself get angry and really feel it.
7) I want to set boundaries and defend them. For real.
8) I want to make music with others.
9) I want to be less of a perfectionist and send my work out, out, out...
10) I want to effect real political and social change in my community.
11) I want to help my aching child find herself, separate from me, become a happy quasi-adult.
12) I want to tear it up on the dance floor wearing the many new (gasp!) jeans that I just purchased on this last day of the year.
And with that consumer-drenched fantasy, I leave y'all.
2013, it's been real. 2014, let's hope you come through.
Or something like that.
There is little wisdom to be sprinkled about these days. Not a little, as in, I have a few tidbits, rather, a dearth. There is not a lot sparkly going on right now in Ilana-world. Ah yes, deep into the self-indulgence we gooooooooooo.
Here's the deal. I had high hopes for 2013. Sure, I did some fun stuff. Mostly involving travel, bringing artists to Phoenix, meeting new friends, getting involved in some serious activism in the great state of Arizona, which is where, incidentally, I have been residing since late summer 2012, but since I skipped this indulgence last year... well, only the real world and some Facebookers knew about it. Anyway, despite making several wonderful new, sustaining friends, I've also made and subsequently lost a few (for reasons that will not be discussed in this forum) that have left a deep, wounded, blood-drenched hole in my heart... and I'm still wobbling, so... rather than a recap, or a list of resolutions, I'm going to put a personal wish-list out into the universe for the coming year.
In the coming year
1) I want to be able to speak with honesty (when it is important), and not fear the repercussions.
2) I want to don sparkles on a more regular basis. Especially glitter make-up.
3) I want to write something creative (and not self-indulgent) on the daily.
4) I want to keep my heart open, despite my overwhelming instinct to slam those doors shut.
5) I want to move to a part of the city that is more in line with who I am.
6) I want to let myself get angry and really feel it.
7) I want to set boundaries and defend them. For real.
8) I want to make music with others.
9) I want to be less of a perfectionist and send my work out, out, out...
10) I want to effect real political and social change in my community.
11) I want to help my aching child find herself, separate from me, become a happy quasi-adult.
12) I want to tear it up on the dance floor wearing the many new (gasp!) jeans that I just purchased on this last day of the year.
And with that consumer-drenched fantasy, I leave y'all.
2013, it's been real. 2014, let's hope you come through.
posted by ilana at 5:49 p.m.
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