sweating helps

I'm not sure what exactly, but it does seem to halt my downward spiral of self-destructive thoughts, if briefly.

There are no more words for now, my muse is gone, long gone, gone since before I even knew, and there is something, a wall, almost, physically blocking me from language, from work, from creation.

I think that perhaps this is the delayed reaction, the melting down that was so long in the making.

If I run and sweat, it lifts the heavy blanket of sinking depression, though only for a moment.